Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
smell my finger.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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