i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
