He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
