your parents love me but you hate me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
