So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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