you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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