I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
