my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
