i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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