i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
we're so committed to being not committed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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