I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
