its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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