..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
