best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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