I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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