I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
