Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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