i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
