Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
