He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
