I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
