Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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