Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
