That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
