just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
