nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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