I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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