At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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