What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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