i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
