yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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