glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
