I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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