so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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