I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
