what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
