Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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