She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
