38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
