all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
