i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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