If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
