what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We talked him into tasing himself.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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