last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
