can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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