how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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