just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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