I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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