Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
