whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
