You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dignity is for republicans.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
