As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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