I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
