I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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